125. Pus

The spots I squeezed on my boob are infected. 

124. When in doubt, leave well alone

Radiotherapy is done.  I’m looking forward to being able to wash my rads armpit and boob and keep checking the burn to see if it’s improving.  Not much.  My boob looks a little smaller since rads and also seems to have developed a nasty case of blackheads.  I decide that the blackheads are due to the amount of E45 cream I’ve been using so stop using it. 

After a couple of days of not using the cream, the burn looks decidedly better.  The blackheads don’t.  After a shower, I’m eyeing them, giving them a little poke.  They don’t hurt.  My skin feels OK. 

I squeeze a few of the blackheads.  (We’re days after radiotherapy has finished and I’m using my nails on my boob.  Am I mad?)  The blackheads squeeze OK although a layer of skin does come off, a little like skin that peels after sunburn.  There’s no pain though, so I assume it’s OK. 

123. Shrink Me

I’ve gone on the sick.  I tried to work all the way through rads but the tiredness was a bit too much to handle while at work.  Also, my boob was chafing and it was awkward.

The weather is nice though, so it isn’t a hardship, being at home.  I loaf around, sit outside in the nice weather.  My mum comes to stay, so I’ve got company.  We don’t bicker as much as we used to so it is quite nice.  She massages my shoulder and my cancer side arm, because it aches sometimes. 

I’ve started attending Slimming World because of the huge weight gain from chemo and the steroids so I’m cooking low cal meals for me and mum.  Which is a bit of a reverse really, because since I left home, when I've seen her, it has pretty much been her doing it for me.  Since I’m not at work though, it’s nice. 

Over the weekend, R and I take mum for a couple of meals at the restaurant she’s decided she likes here.  The first time I have swordfish and salad and the second a steak.  I’ve tried dieting since finishing chemo and have lost NO weight, so I’m determined to give this diet a really good go. 

Just as well I did.  When I go to get weighted, I’ve lost 6 ½ lbs!  Woo hoo!!!!

122. Blow Out

So I’m having my booster radiotherapy.  Only one of the hospitals many rads rooms does the booster sessions, so at least now I’m always in the same room.  No problem, although the girls aren’t quite as nice as in room 7. 

I’ve been to work and am running a teeny bit late, should still be on time for my appointment if I put my foot down tho.  Which I do.  I take a roundabout fast.  I’m almost back to town and I’m just wondering if there’ll be a space on the road so I don’t have to pay to park when the exhaust starts making a funny noise.  I slow down and notice that the car is losing power too.  No hard shoulder, so I have to stop in the slow lane of the dual carriageway. 

Once I’m out of the car, it becomes obvious that the car has blown a tyre; rear driver’s side.  I get my bag and phone and call Green Flag.  I can hardly hear the agent because of the roar of traffic, much of which is swerving to avoid my lil Fiesta.  They can’t find my details.  FFS.  I’m patient for a while and then when the agent starts suggesting I phone another number, I get cross.  ‘I’m on the side of a dual carriageway; my car is in the road.  I’ve had this account for 15 years.  I can’t sort this out, you need to.’  He does.

Once breakdown are on their way, I phone R.  He faffs about.  All I really want is the address of the garage his friend has.  He tells me I won’t need it.  Can I have it just in case please?  He tells me he doesn’t know it.  Um, can you GET IT? 

Next I ring the hospital.  The receptionist tells me not to worry.  They’re open until 7.  Um, even room 8?  She thinks so.  Can she check?  Yes, she can.  She does, phones back and has to leave a voice mail because R has phoned back.  He’s got the address for which I’m very grateful. 

The breakdown man comes, it IS only a tyre so I’m changed and on my way within 15 mins of him getting there.  I drive far more sedately but as quickly as I dare, park in the expensive car part and SCREECH into radiotherapy reception just as the receptionist is leaving.  She checks me in and then pulls down the shutters.  Phew

121. Wayward Waves

I was prescribed 15 sessions of overall radiotherapy and 5 booster sessions.  The staff in room 7, where I had my main sessions were lovely.  Happy, friendly, chatty girls.  They made the treatment even better.  When my 15 sessions were done, I took them some chocolates and a card. 

Move on to room 8 and my ‘booster’ rads sessions.  This treatment was slightly different.  The ‘waves’ apparently weren’t as easily directed as the other treatment and necessitated a ‘frame’ to point them to the area specifically designated as the ‘tumour bed’.  The machine was the same as the one I was used to but had an arm coming out of the front.  The arm had a clamp on it with a small metal square with a rectangular hole in the middle.  The hole was angled to frame my scar, allowing the waves to reach the areas around it to about 2 cm.  

Less bursts of treatment this time.  Previously, they’d fired the machine 6 times from 3 or 4 different angles.  This time it was just one longish burst (to a count of about 20).  Still no problem, just required me to angle my head away to prevent the machine’s arm from clipping my chin as it was brought down to its level which was approximately 2cm from my body. 

120. Rads

So.  15 ordinary radiotherapy appointments.  By rads 8 or 9 I’d started to notice some irritation in the fold underneath my boob, where my bra sits.  I’d given up the underwired bras after the first 3 rads sessions because I didn’t think it would be sensible to have any extras pressure on the treated area.  In Asda, I’d found post surgery bras that were mostly cotton jersey.  Huge.  Ugly.  Thick.  Very soft though.  I bought one, wore it, found it comfy so got 2 more. 

The upside of the Asda cotton bras was that they weren’t too tight around my body, so when the irritation under my boob nagged, I could just move the bottom bra band down.  The downside of them was that instead of two boobs I had one shelf boob across the middle of my chest.  I did keep reminding myself that it was no real price to pay.

Radio therapy was surprisingly easy, other than the daily irritating journey and parking struggle.  Lying on the bed while the staff shifted my body around in minute degrees; waiting while the radio waves (or whatever they are) were fired and then reversing the journey home again. 

The advice I would give to anyone having rads is that it is the ideal treatment.  It doesn’t hurt, nothing touches you, it doesn’t make you ill and the staff are lovely.  I’d have it daily, permanently, if it was safe and guaranteed to keep the cancer away. 

119 Earth to blog!

Will be back soon. 

LOTS of updates to upload. 

Surgery updates including 'action shots' of boobs.

Watch this space...