So. No sickness. I stayed at R's for the night but then, bingo, the next day, the stuff that passes for music that his son makes started. R was in town, and out to the pub that night so I thought that I might as well be at home. I was wobbly, but grabbed the nearest pile of my stuff and the meds and went home.
I was in bed mostly for 3 days. Eating was possible, because I wasn't vomiting but I did have intermittent nausea so didn't want anything with any lumps in it. Heinz tomato soup got a bit old after a while but L, the vicar from work, came round with some amazing lentil soup. I made it last for 3 servings it was so nice. It actually settled my stomach which was a relief. It was lovely to see her and hear her good news. She's been given a lottery grant so is starting a cafe, one day a week, in her local area. I'll definitely be there. They're amazing cooks!
Saturday, when I woke up, I realised my chemo arm was stiff and sore. I remembered that in the night I'd got up to go to the loo and thought I saw my veins turning brown along the arm. At the time, I'd dismissed it as a nightmare, but there was some discolouration.
I phoned the chemo ward and they told me to go to A&E. Could be infection, could be phlebitis. Thankfully, A&E next door (literally across the road) was still open, although due for closure a week later. I dragged myself round, exhausted and sweating by the time I got there. Sitting in the waiting room was hard, I could barely keep myself upright. It was the first real time that I'd felt like an ill person. I mean, I HATE chemo and it makes me feel like shit, but that is artificial illness. Chemo would make an athlete ill. But sitting in that dingy hospital, in a waiting room with people with cuts and broken bones, made me feel abnormal.
I was seen really quickly. The blood pressure machine wasn't working (either that or I was sicker than I thought). The doctor was a young girl who seemed very unsure, but she diagnosed phlebitis too and gave me antibiotics, instructing me to come back if it got worse and to contact my doctor if it didn't get any better.
Over the weekend I spoke to S. He said that a long line would be a good idea to avoid any more problems like this. At the time I didn't ask what this was.
Monday, day 4, I was still really tired. My arm was no worse but no better so I phoned the consultants secretary. She said that he should assess me in clinic that afternoon. Bugger. Got to go out again. My rent was due and the agent hadn't arranged a standing order mandate as I'd requested so I had to go out to pay it. I went to R's afterwards but he seemed pissed off so I went home again. Back to bed for an hour.
I had a taxi take me to the hospital. I couldn't face driving. The consultant didn't inspire confidence. He was distant and cold with a rather nasty patch of eczema on his face. He told me to discontinue the antibiotics and stick to ibuprofen. He made some changes to my anti sickness meds and that was it. I asked him how I'd get my chemo next time and he rather ominously said 'They'll get it in somehow.' Very reassuring. He did say that they should be able to manage side effects from the chemo each time but also said that I shouldn't feel as ill as I did on only cycle 3. He also mentioned a long line being fitted but said it could hopefully be avoided as I'd only got 3 cycles left.
R picked me up from the hospital and took me back to his. I felt I had to make an effort but really couldn't stay upright so went to bed. The sheets needed changing. I wanted to be at home. :-(
No comments:
Post a Comment