60. Femi-nazi hair

The hair’s been dropping out. It wasn’t nice when it was happening when I was drying my hair but the worst was when we were having sex. It’s fairly normal, I think, that the touching involves holding your lovers head while kissing. I’d never noticed how much of it goes on until it meant that every time he put his hands in my hair that it was coming out. Which was obviously crap because it ruined the mood for me.

The hair loss was happening pretty heavily. I could see hair on my pillow in the morning so finally, I asked R to clip it off. He found a set of blades that were over an inch long which sounded OK. I was nervous it would pull but it didn’t and actually felt really nice, so I relaxed and enjoyed it. The first sight of my head was a shock. Fortunately, I’d dyed my hair a couple of weeks ago, so it was dark red rather than grey. It needed washing though, so I had a shower and used the hair dryer on it.

It looked OK. I put make up on, heavy around the eyes and got dressed. And looked again. My hair looked, not just OK, but FANTASTIC!!! I was amazed and kept looking. From angle to angle. It really did look incredible. I posted pictures on Facebook and within an hour, several friends also said how amazing it looked.

After the shock of clipping my hair off, I realised I still had stuff to do in town. So I took my skinhead self off feeling incredible.

I really can’t over emphasize the euphoria I felt. I walked around town, shopping, browsing, revelling even, in how I felt. Wow. I knew really, it didn’t look that amazing. Quite a lot of hair had come off the crown and my scalp was really visible. The feeling, however, didn’t seem to be linked to my actual appearance. I think I was just relieved and happy that this huge step hadn’t knocked me down.