139. The embarrassment factor

N, a dear friend and ex colleague, is staying with me.  I have an appointment with the gynaecologist and the gynaecologist nurse, so N goes with me.  A bit of  a busman’s holiday for her, given that she’s had some health issues recently, but she’s a good friend so I don’t think it even crosses her mind that she doesn’t want to go.   

We wait for ages and then I’m called in.  N follows me into the office, until she sees a phallic shaped scan wand and backs out again.  I don’t blame her!   

I’ve had plenty of smear tests.  No problem.  That scan though!  It was more of a probe than a scan.  It went up and prodded and poked as far as it could do, in all directions!  It didn’t hurt exactly but it was very uncomfortable.   

I saw the gynae afterwards.  My consultant (never met the bloke) was on holiday so I saw a very young Asian registrar.  She was very sweet.  She delighted me by saying I had a small healthy uterus and that the scan was clear.  She examined me and appeared to have her arm in up to the elbow.  FFS!  It felt like something out of 'All Creatures Great and Small' with me as the cow.  Please god, don't find a calf up there!

We discussed why I wanted a hysterectomy rather than an oophrectomy.  She said it should be possible to do a keyhole operation, removing the uterus via my navel.  She also said that ideally, the hysterectomy could be coordinated with the reduction op, cutting down on the number of general anaesthetics necessary.   

I’m not really sure about the double op thing.  It sounds a bit of an ordeal.  My recovery from the big op is going to be bad enough, without having a huge recovery from the 2 more ‘minor’ operations before hand.