Well. Shopping (yet again) yesterday. God knows why. I keep telling myself that I shouldn't be buying clothes. I'm at my top weight at the moment and plan to diet after the op (and am assuming, probably foolishly, that the chemo will make me lose weight. Please god let me vomit and lose my appetite. Am I mad?) AND even if I have a lumpectomy will still have a change in my shape.
This makes no difference. So I bought clothes in Monsoon and M&S. THEN a courier delivered the 8 dresses I ordered last week online. On top of the 3 that are waiting to go back to John Lewis.
This is very out of character. Normally I buy occasionally and only when I'm in need. I'm not sure if it’s a 'feast, for tomorrow we die...' attitude or just a distraction. The (new) top I went out in last night was so low cut it was showing off my (new) bra. I ask you. New bras. WHY????? That is the part of me that will without doubt be changing in one way or another.
Whatever. Maybe I should just be glad I'm OKish. If nothing else, I'm still VERY up for sex. As usual. Boringly so in fact. Premature menopause induced by chemo might be a welcome relief. What a stereotype. Randy middle aged woman.
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